Why women have affairs?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause misery, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, finances, age difference, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I am sure generally though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, colossal actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sadly this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a man I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.